you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
