I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
