That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
