He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
