His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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