like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
