She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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