I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
