you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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