My brain says no but my pants say off.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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