my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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