I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
