hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
