Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
