at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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