he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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