i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
