I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
