Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
