This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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