you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
