You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
