i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Rumble strips road head = magical
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
