Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
