i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
