Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My life is pants optional.
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