I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
