This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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