Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
