I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
