After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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