did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
