so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
