I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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