OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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