it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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