I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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