I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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