how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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