I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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