wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
