You can't motorboat a personality
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
