it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
