Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
