Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
