i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
