No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
