why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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