C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
