KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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